Machine Party stage How do you deal with your ex wife who can't live with you but can't live without you?
My marriage ended some 18 months ago. I was the guilty party having had an affair 4 years earlier. We both live alone about two miles from each other and share looking after our nine year old son. We still do things together, she stayed over on Xmas eve. I would like us to try again but as soon as we have a good time she puts the barriers up until the next time. Neither of us break the cycle. It is a bit like stepping in and out of a time machine. I have tried meeting other people but that hasn't worked. As soon as I start feeling OK and that I should move on she is really nice and I go back to stage one. At one level it would be so much easier if she just met someone else but she always appears to keep the door open just a bit. I just have this feeling of being in no mans land and get very confused and angry on occasions. Its really difficult planning anything. So any help advice or just a sympathetic ear would be appreciated.
well, I can sympathize with her "putting the barriers up" I would too if someone I dearly loved cheated on me. I'm not placing blame on you - but surely you understand her behavior. You need to take charge and stop waiting for something from her. You need to either decide to move ahead and stop waiting for her to come around - or give her 100% of your effort and try to reconcile. Personally, I think you need to move on.
If you have been in the same back and forth for 18 months it doesn't sound like you're getting anywhere - and if either of you REALLY wanted to fix it you would have already been working towards that goal. It's great that your friendly and that you do activities together with your son. But you might need to back away from that for now. Your kinda sending your kid mixed messages. Mom shouldn't be sleeping over at dad's period if your divorced. You can still spend a lot of quality time with your kid without your ex involved. It's a bad example for him to see you with mom one minuet and with a new date the next.
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